The True Story of Martha Mount and Mr. Murphey

Mrs. Martha Mount was a short and round, muumuu wearing, sixty-four year old Hebrew widow, with a scandalous reputation. Of the 1,801 citizens residing in the city of Lovelock, Nevada, Mrs. Mount was the most infamous.

According to the Lovelock Weekly Tattler, on Wednesday, March 3, 1985, neighbors called authorities complaining of a disturbance, and what sounded like “howling,” coming from the normally unassuming home on the corner of Meadow Lane and Broadway. The Pershing County Sheriff and the local volunteer fire department (VFD) responded to the residence of Mrs. Martha Frances Mount and her Lhasa Apso, Mr. Murphey. What they witnessed that afternoon was so traumatizing that several emergency responders took a permanent leave of absence, and most will not comment on events to this day.

It was reported that the middle-aged woman and her four-legged companion were having intercourse—and got stuck. Doctors called it, penis captivus (captive penis), a rare phenomenon effectively locking the male in place until the vaginal muscles relax and the male (or in this case, Mr. Murphey) can withdraw.

Arriving late to the scene, Sheriff Joseph Clayton Clarke immediately observed and took control of the situation. Recognizing the urgency to placate Mrs. Mount’s pelvic floor muscles, he recalled his own method of self-soothing, and deciding to sing. The room of first responders quieted as Sheriff Clarke serenaded the hapless pair with the first song he could think of.
Everyone knew the words to the sheriff’s song choice considering it had been number one on the Official Top 100 Singles of 1984. Therefore, it wasn’t long before most of the ensemble was humming along in unison, whereas others crooned loudly in tune.

Relax don’t do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don’t do it
When you want to…

…and with that, Mrs. Mount released Mr. Murphey.

There are no other official files, witness accounts, or news reports surrounding the incident on Meadow Lane and Broadway; nor was there any verdict in the case of Martha Mount and her Lhasa Apso.

However, since that day back in 1985, the town has acquired an unfortunate catchphrase:

“Lock up” in Lovelock