Miss Peller

With so much negativity and turmoil in the world right now,

I thought I would share a “funny” to lighten things up.


Many of you know that I accepted my first book deal back in April,

and with its release date scheduled before the end of this year,

I am currently finishing the final edits from my publisher.


In one story, I was speaking about workers I had hired who insisted on treating me, their boss,

as if I was a brainless blonde dupe.

In response to their offensive retorts, I countered, finishing with the line:

I said staring one dipshit cooly in the eyes.


My editor’s comment to this sentence not only made me pause,

but surprised and confused me as well.

Her reply was as follows:

It’s up to you, but this word for “laborer” is considered offensive or racist against Asians and others.


While my mind began with WTF? and ended with Google it,

I was soon reward with an answer to my bewilderment.


coolie meaning an unskilled native laborer in India, China, and some other Asian countries;

is sometimes regarded as offensive or discriminatory slang.



That’s just great, now my publisher and editing staff believe me to be a racist!


I am without prejudice, just as I am without the title of

Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion.

When I said, “dipshit coolie,”

I was not calling the hired help anything derogatory,

I was simply trying to say that I was,

“staring one dipshit COOLLY in the eyes.”


As I discovered, editing—although my least favorite thus far,

is one of the more vital elements in the publishing process.

Can you image the mistakes that could happen if you are without the talents

of a professional proofreader?


Melville’s Moby-Dick could have been, Moby’s Dick

(which is an entirely different story)!

What if Jane Eyre was Jayne Heir,

would her character somehow be different

or does it really matter?

—I bet Ms. Brontë would think so.

How about reading a book titled, War and Pieces?


Yes, it matters and can be very misleading for the reader.

Especially when you could be labeled as a racist humorist,

when you are really just an

amusing cacographer.