Gym Etiquette: 101

If you’re a friendly, smiley person like myself then a word to the wise: check yourself at the door.

 As I begin my workout in the “meat market”, I try not to make eye contact with the males around me.  I’m not here to pick up anyone, as so many do.

No make-up, sweating, and in some of the most unbecoming positions is not how I wish to converse or meet the man of my dreams.

However, females, I thought were safe. So as a perfect specimen walked past my elliptical, with not a hair out of place and fully done up on a Saturday morning, I smiled.

 “I don’t swing that way, Sweetheart”, was all she said!

In today’s times, I can’t say “my girlfriend” because I wonder if people think I’m talking about my lover, I can’t kiss my Mother in public because she looks like a “Cougar”, and NOW I can’t smile?!

As the world is coming “out”, this heterosexual is going in the closet.

So when I returned to the gym the following day, I didn’t smile at anyone.

I can just hear it now, “There’s that lesbian bitch.”

…humor happens