Frequently Asked Questions
O: Officer The Mini Pig
L: Lee
When is your birthday?
O: December 10, 2011
L: September 3, 1976
How much do you weigh?
O: I was once a teacup, but I am now a TEAPOT at 100 pounds!
L: n/a
Really? You’re lucky I answered the birthday question!
I refuse to get on the scale at the doctor’s office and you think I’m going to answer this? Let’s just say…bigger than a teapot.
Where were you born?
O: I was born on a farm in Texas. When I was just a piglet, I flew (Yes, pigs do fly!) to Florida to live with my Mommy and brother, Uncle Put—the obsessive-compulsive black cat on Prozac.
L: St. Petersburg, FL
Where do you live?
O: I am a house pig who lives off of a golf course green.
L: The Florida Suncoast
Where do you sleep?
O: In the middle of a king-size, pillow-top mattress—hogging the sheets.
L: With a pig…on the edge of a king-sized, pillow-top mattress— freezing with no sheets!
What is your favorite food?
O: Bananas, veggies, bananas, watermelon…did I say bananas?
L: Vegan cuisine…and CARBS—ugh!
What is your favorite color?
O: BANANA!
L: Is sparkly a color?
Toilet paper, over or under?
O: Neither—inside my belly is where I like it! Did I mention how much I love paper? Calendars, Post-Its, the Bible, cashiers check for $1,200.00…paper is yummy goodness!
L: Neither—Officer eats it, so I have to keep it on the counter. When I do put the roll on, I am an “OVER” kind of girl.
What are you scared of most?
O: STARVING!
L: Clowns and snakes
What is something weird about you?
O: My tongue is too long for my mouth and sticks out the left side. Therefore, I drool—A LOT!
L: I sleep with a pig…and I like it.
Who is your all-time celebrity crush?
O: I used to like Latin girls, that is until I saw Esther The Wonder Pig. She is so big, beautiful..and PINK! That Canadian Ham is the sow for me!
L: Cary Grant, but just my luck, he’s dead—and he might’ve been bisexual too! This is why I’m single, terrible taste in men!
What do you like to do for fun?
O: Root around the neighborhood, sampling all the new landscaping my neighbors have planted—usually on a Sunday morning when Mommy is still in her pajamas. Oh, I also like to bark at the golfers in my backyard. Yes, I can bark like a dog. You should see the looks I get!
L: n/a
(Hell if I can remember!)
What charities do you endorse or help out?
O: I have to admit, I am a bit of an attention hog. So I really love it when Mommy takes me to our local Humane Society. I get to meet groups of kids who fill my belly with treats as long as I SIT for them! Mommy says we should always be the voice for the voiceless. Therefore, children and animal charities are closest to our hearts.
L: Officer & I have been active supporters of our local Humane Society. We enjoy being invited regularly to speak at camps and youth events. We are also supporters of the Police Athletic League (PAL), Girls, Inc, Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, Boys & Girls Clubs, the Ronald McDonald House Charities, Farm Animal Rights Movement (FARM), & World Wildlife Fund (WWF)—to name a few.
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Officer and Lee?
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