Let’s face it, Sleeping Beauty was lazy and depressed. She probably had a hormone imbalance. But the Prince,…CLASSIC Necrophiliac! Rapunzel was just unkept. If a guy can crawl up inside your hair and get lost, you’ve just one-upped Howard Hughes! Snow White was the worst. 7 DWARFS! Lily white virgin my apple bottom! “Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho…” […]
“Is Dick home?” My neighbor’s eight year old grandson was back for one of his visits…and looking for my ex-boyfriend. “We discussed this last time, Noah. Dick doesn’t live here anymore.” “Why?” Why had been Noah’s favorite word for the last three years. I finally had to admit, Noah was a little “special”. I […]
My neighbors simply didn’t know what to make of me. Young, single, living on a golf course in a deed restricted community, …with a mini pig, is not unusual too me, but other’s find that sort of thing shocking. Though they’ve come to love my unconventional ways, I’m not sure how they will feel about […]
How I imagine myself getting into my car when all eyes are on me… How I actually look, after I’ve rolled my hair up in the window! FML!!! …humor happens Photo Credits: © Orrim | Dreamstime.com – <a href=”https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-high-heels-legs-image16154980#res10289678″>High Heels and legs</a>
“You need to get practical. Fairytales and falling in love isn’t realistic at your age. You’re getting too old for all that, and it is time to get serious before it’s too late.” “For Christ sakes, Daddy, she’s only 30!” my mother said in defense of my grandfather’s heinous spiel. My love life, or lack […]
I would NEVER call someone a PIG – and here is why: Pig are friendly, loyal, and intelligent. They are naturally very clean, social, playful, protective animals that love sunbathing, listening to music, and getting massages. Pigs are skilled communicators with more than twenty oinks, grunts, and squeals identified in their vocabulary. Pigs have also been […]
Hello summer, and welcome to serenity! – By the end of June, my mother flew down from our family vacation home in Northern Wisconsin just to drive Officer, Uncle Put, and myself back up. The wheelchair had been returned, I was in two walking casts, and ready to get the hell out-of-town. After firing my […]
When I said, “Drop me anywhere”, this is NOT what I intended. Really?! FML!!! …humor happens
When I said I was going to ‘make myself MORE comfortable’, I doubt taking my casts off was what he had in mind.
(Watching the movie, The Big Short, with my Mother) Mom: He’s really cute; who is that? Me: Brad Pitt.