Entries by © Lee Volpe

Trick or Treat

It was Halloween night in the Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights. My great-uncle, a middle-aged man at the time, was home handing candy out to trick-or-treaters. The doorbell sounded, he opened the door, and there stood a beautiful little angel of about four years old, with big blue cornflower eyes and golden ringlets. “Trick or […]

The True Story of Martha Mount and Mr. Murphey

Mrs. Martha Mount was a short and round, muumuu wearing, sixty-four year old Hebrew widow, with a scandalous reputation. Of the 1,801 citizens residing in the city of Lovelock, Nevada, Mrs. Mount was the most infamous. According to the Lovelock Weekly Tattler, on Wednesday, March 3, 1985, neighbors called authorities complaining of a disturbance, and […]

25 and Older

Therapists are like vibrators … every woman over 25 should have one —whether they admit it or not!

Miss Peller

With so much negativity and turmoil in the world right now, I thought I would share a “funny” to lighten things up.   Many of you know that I accepted my first book deal back in April, and with its release date scheduled before the end of this year, I am currently finishing the final […]

Michael, the Alligator Wrestler–and Texter

Have I told you about the guy, with giant biceps, that lives with 300 alligators? You thought it was dangerous texting and driving, well, my friend Michael, at Gator Golf and Adventure Park, texts me while wresting alligators! Who says men can’t multitask? I didn’t believe he was in a pen of man-eating dinosaurs doing […]

#FML Moment 10

I had been having construction going on at my house and the final step was painting. The painter showed up, assistant in tow, and began applying my chosen color samples to the wall. I’m friendly, too friendly I’ve been told – which gets me in trouble most of the time, and obviously the painter was […]

Mom’s Behind the Wheel Multitasking

My mother is very good at multitasking.  As we drive from Wisconsin to Florida, with a Portuguese Water Dog, a cat on Prozac, and mini pig with an oral fixation, I grab the Oh Shit handle as she spontaneously veers into the right lane. I ask her, “Are you alright; do you need me to […]

…and my Mother said, “Karma’s a bitch!”   My Stepfather answered, “Who’s Karma?”

Red In the Hood

Here is the true story about our dear Little Red… Big Red and Big Red Mama died in an accident in the woods. A tree jumped in front of their horse, killing them instantly. Red was just a baby, and was raised by her paternal grandmother. Sadly, Grandma was as nutty as a squirrel’s turd. […]