Calories Burned In 30 Minutes

Laughing = 40 Sex for a man = 100 Sex for a woman = 69 Banging your head against the wall = 75 A cold shower = 600 What have we learned? ...humor happens

#FML Moment 122

That moment you realize you're now the adult in the family! FML!!! ...humor happens

Mom and the Fishermen

My mom was out-of-town photographing birds, when two fishermen approached and asked, "Will you give us a jump?" Their battery had died and they were hoping she could help. Her response: "Sorry, I'm a married woman." ...humor happens  …

Maid Service

Your girlfriend does your laundry?  Oh man... She does your dishes too?!  Oh man... ...AND she washes your dog?!!  Oh man, you're lucky!!! As I listen to the guy on my left discuss his buddy's personal life, it occurred to me... all men…
You don't have to wait for a New Year to start a new day.
What doesn't kill you, makes you wish it did!

#FML Moment 22

Flirting, you become so flustered when you’re saying good bye, you slam your car door…WITH YOUR HEAD IN IT! When the poor guy asks if you are alright, you reply, “Oh, I'm fine. It happens all the time.” Really? REALLY! FML!!! ...humor…
When life throws a curve!
I used to believe it was more romantic for a gentleman to pick me flowers instead of buying them.  Until one day when he showed up with my neighbor's newly planted Rhododendron bush...roots and all!
When life hands you lemons...Shit, I'm allergic to lemons!